Pursue and withdraw
One person needs to talk, resolve things, or get an answer right away. The other needs space and pulls back. The more one pushes, the more the other pulls away.
Psychotherapy in San Luis Potosí
Couples therapy
Sometimes the problem isn't what you're arguing about anymore. It's the way you end up relating every time it happens.
Couples therapy offers a space to understand what's happening between you, identify the patterns that keep repeating, and explore a different way of handling conflict, distance, or a crisis.
Recognizing it
Maybe the topic changes. The argument looks too much the same.
Many couples come to therapy not because they can never agree, but because they feel stuck in a way of arguing, withdrawing, or protecting themselves that keeps repeating.
01
You start talking about something small and end up arguing about everything that's wrong with the relationship.
02
One person pushes to talk while the other withdraws, shuts down, or avoids the conversation.
03
You've stopped bringing up certain topics because any attempt seems to make things worse.
04
There's built-up resentment over things that seemed to be behind you.
05
There was an infidelity, a lie, or a break in trust, and you don't know how to talk about it without circling back to the same point.
06
You're no longer sure whether you want to rebuild the relationship or need to start thinking about ending it.
Looking at the dynamic
Often there's no villain. There's a pattern.
One of the first things we look at in therapy is what happens between the two of you when a hard situation comes up.
Criticize and defend
One person tries to express a need, but it comes out sounding like criticism. The other gets defensive, and both end up feeling unheard.
Avoid until it boils over
Uncomfortable topics get put off to avoid a fight. Tension builds until something that seems small ends up carrying everything that never got said.
Patch it up without resolving it
After an argument you find your way back to okay, but the real issue stays untouched and resurfaces weeks or months later.
My approach
My job isn't to decide who's right.
It's to help you both see what happens between you when you're each trying to protect something that matters.
I work from a systemic approach. In couples therapy that means I don't look at two people separately: I also pay attention to the dynamic you build together when you interact.
One reaction can become the trigger for the next. One person feels ignored and pushes harder; the other feels pressured and pulls away. That distance makes the first person push even more. Over time, you can both end up feeling like the other one is always the problem.
Understanding the pattern lets us move the conversation away from "who started it" and toward more useful questions: what is each of you trying to protect, what do you need, and what happens in the relationship when those needs collide.
Attachment Theory can also help explain how past experiences and relationships shape the way each of you responds today to closeness, conflict, rejection, or distance.
For a lot of the couples I work with, that context also includes navigating two nationalities, a language gap, or the weight of one of you having moved here for the other's career. Those pressures rarely get named directly, but they show up in how you argue.
This isn't about winning the argument. It's about understanding what happens between you when you both feel like you're losing something.
How we start
First we understand the relationship. Then we work on change.
The process adapts to each couple, but it usually moves through three moments.
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01
I hear both sides
We get a picture of what's happening, how each of you experiences the relationship, and what you're hoping for from the process.
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02
We identify the pattern
We work to understand what happens before, during, and after conflicts, and what keeps that dynamic going.
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03
We build different responses
We work on new ways of talking, setting boundaries, expressing needs, and getting through hard moments.
What the process is for
Couples therapy doesn't always mean "saving the relationship."
The goal isn't mine to decide. It depends on what you're going through and what you need to understand or decide.
We want to stay together
We can work on the patterns wearing down the relationship, strengthen communication, and build different ways of handling conflict.
We're going through a crisis
An infidelity, a lie, a loss, changes in the family, or another situation may need a dedicated space to understand what happened and what it means for the relationship.
We don't know if we want to continue
Therapy can also offer a space to sort out what each of you is feeling and make decisions with more clarity, and less from the heat of conflict.
In session
What to expect from sessions
When both of you take part, the first session is usually for hearing both perspectives, understanding what brought you to therapy, and starting to identify the main dynamic.
It's not about turning the session into another argument with a third person watching. My job is to structure the conversation so we can slow down on the parts that usually move too fast.
In later sessions we review recent situations, notice how the pattern shows back up, and work on different ways of responding.
Depending on the situation, the structure of the process can be adjusted. Any individual meeting within a couples process requires clear limits and agreements about its purpose.
Format
In person or online
Frequency
Defined based on the process
Spanish
$700 MXN per session
English
$1,000 MXN per session
Goal
Built together with you
You don't have to agree on everything to start.
You might even have different expectations about the relationship. That's also part of what we can start to understand.
Where the process can go
What we can work on
There's no outcome I can guarantee. What we can do is set concrete goals and check throughout the process what's changing and what still needs attention.
01
Identify the cycle that repeats whenever conflict comes up.
02
Express needs without automatically turning them into attack or defense.
03
Understand what's underneath certain reactions, silences, or distance.
04
Work through the impact of a break in trust without rushing decisions.
05
Find different ways of handling disagreements that will probably keep showing up.
06
Get more clarity on what each of you wants for the relationship going forward.
An important note
If there's fear, violence, threats, or control, safety comes first.
Not every couples difficulty should automatically be handled through joint sessions. When there's violence, threats, coercion, or one person can't speak freely out of fear of what might happen, it's important to first assess the situation and figure out what kind of support fits.
In-person care
Couples therapy in San Luis Potosí
I see couples in person in San Luis Potosí. It's also possible to do the process online when that format is more convenient.
I see couples from different areas of the city and its surroundings, including Lomas, Tangamanga, Zona Industrial, Villa de Pozos, and Soledad de Graciano Sánchez.
Once your session is confirmed, I'll send you the location and any directions you need.
City
San Luis Potosí, S.L.P.
Format
In person and online
Monday to Friday
9:00 – 19:00
Saturday
9:00 – 14:00
Phone
444 606 0774
Before you book
Frequently asked questions about couples therapy
Can we come in even if we don't know whether we want to stay together?
Yes. You don't have to arrive at therapy already having decided you want to stay in the relationship.
Part of the process can be exactly about understanding what's going on, what each of you wants, and what options are in front of you.
Does couples therapy try to save the relationship?
No. My job isn't to convince you to stay together or to separate.
We can work to rebuild a relationship, process a crisis, or get more clarity on how you want to move forward.
What if my partner doesn't want to come?
You can start an individual process to work on how you're experiencing the relationship, your own patterns, needs, boundaries, and decisions.
That would be individual therapy focused on a relationship situation, not couples therapy itself.
If your partner decides to join later, we can look at how to structure the joint work.
How do you work through an infidelity?
There's no single right way to respond after an infidelity.
In therapy we can work through the impact of what happened, the questions and emotions that come up, and the possibility of rebuilding trust if you both want to explore that path.
Understanding the context of the relationship doesn't mean excusing the decision to be unfaithful.
What if we argue during the session?
It wouldn't be unusual for a piece of the same dynamic that happens outside of session to show up in the room.
In fact, watching the pattern as it happens can let us pause it, understand what's going on, and try out a different way of responding.
How many sessions does couples therapy take?
There's no fixed number of sessions.
Working through communication difficulties doesn't necessarily take the same process as dealing with an infidelity, a drawn-out crisis, or the possibility of separating.
Duration gets assessed as we go, based on your goals and how the process unfolds.
How much does a couples therapy session cost?
Couples therapy in Spanish costs $700 MXN per session.
Sessions held in English cost $1,000 MXN per session. You can check all the rates on the pricing page .
Can we do couples therapy online?
Yes. I offer couples therapy in person in San Luis Potosí and online sessions.
Is couples therapy appropriate when there's violence or fear?
When there's violence, threats, fear, or coercive control, it's important to first assess safety and the specific circumstances.
Joint therapy isn't automatically the right approach in every one of these situations.
Next step
You don't have to have the relationship figured out before starting therapy.
You can write to me briefly about what's going on. We'll check availability and answer any questions before booking your first session.